You have found the right coach if your concerns relate to high intelligence, or to the fact that Asperger Syndrome/Autism Spectrum is part of your life. Perhaps both apply, because they often occur together.
Let's start with a discussion of why coaching might be helpful if you are particularly intelligent.
You're probably accustomed to being called gifted. You may also be used to being the smartest one in the class. You might have hobbies or interests in which you are highly accomplished.
Or...you may not be at all certain that you are gifted. You may have scuttled along the bottom in school, never quite "living up to your potential." And you may still feel as if there are things you are supposed to be doing...if only you knew what they were.
High intelligence is a gift, to be sure. It's not much different from high athletic ability. You're born with the potential to do great things.
We all know that in sports, practice is the key to success. All the talent in the world is not enough on its own. Discipline is required to put it in motion.
It is the same with intelligence.
It takes discipline and commitment to bring your intelligence into the world. It is not enough to be "smart." That's a lonely and confusing place to be.
The thing is, sometimes it is very hard to find your way. Sometimes, even if you are working successfully in your career after having worked hard thorugh years of schooling, you may still feel that there is something missing. Something that you can't quite put your finger on.
That's because there are existential aspects to being highly intelligent that can create barriers to success. If you've already reached your goals, these concerns can seem to crash down around your feet.
If you are strugging to find your place in the world, whether you are still in school...a professional advancing in your field...at home with your young children...at the peak of your career...coaching can help you sort things out.
Being heard and understood is the first part of our process together. Then we will work together to address your concerns.
You can feel relaxed, focused, and confident.
You can move forward and bring your gifts into the world in a way that helps you see that your contributions are meaningful.
Asperger Syndrome/Autism Spectrum
It really doesn’t matter whether you have an actual diagnosis. If the traits that identify Asperger Syndrome/Autism Syndrome seem to resonate with you, then discovering ways to relieve them will be beneficial to you in both your personal and your professional life.
With coaching, you can learn to interpret and understand language and intentions when your perceptions may be frustratingly different from those of others in your life.
Your natural way of processing information is most likely cognitive. This means that you interpret reality through your thoughts. You think things through and come to logical conclusions.
Neurotypical individuals do this, as well. However, they can also rely more heavily on information that comes to them by way of intuition.
For example, it is estimated that upwards of 70% of communication is nonverbal. Your skills are highly literal, and your method of comprehending what another is saying most likely relies upon the words themselves.
What do you do about that other 70%?
This includes facial expressions, tone of voice, figurative speech, body language, gesture, breathing, pace of speech, pitch of speech, volume, and all other aspects that are not directly conveyed by the definitions of the words being spoken.
If you identify with being on the autism spectrum, you most likely experience problems with some or all of these additional sources of information. It can cause you to miss things that seem obvious to others.
I can help you learn to decode social cues which may confuse you now. I can also help you identify behaviors of your own which may not be serving you well, so that you can modify them or choose to eliminate them.
Together, we can approach any aspect of your life which you find daunting as a result of AS.
In your personal life…
If you are in a committed relationship, it is likely that your AS is most visible here. You may experience many frustrations in interpersonal communication with the person you love most of all.
If you are dating and seeking a partner, you may find certain aspects of this world baffling. Together, we can look at what might be confusing you. I can help you develop an approach to this process that reduces your fears and honors your integrity.
In your professional life…
You may have difficulties figuring out which aspects of a task are most important, and this might make it confusing for you to determine priorities.
You may be challenged when it comes to completing one thing before moving on to the next.
You might not be certain when to ask for help, or may resist doing so at all.
I can help you understand executive function and ways to address these concerns.
I also work with couples.
I help couples who are having trouble communicating build bridges that honor both perspectives.
I help couples who are on the verge of divorce find ways to grow deeper as a couple and remain together.
I help couples who discover they cannot remain together find new ways to remain in relationship with each other – ways that make sense to both parties and which are emotionally gratifying to both.
As you know, it is important that both voices be heard by the person you go to for help with your relationship. It is unfair to feel as if you are the only one in the couple who needs to do all the changing, all the bending, all the compromising. Both partners have new things to learn about each other. Both partners can learn to change comfortably with a new understanding of what their differences are.
As partners’ stress decreases with this new knowledge, skillful communication becomes possible, and mutual understanding and respect grow.
A relationship that was once painful to both parties can become re-energized, renewing the love that led to the partnership in the first place.
On the other hand, some partnerships benefit from the creation of a new constellation of how to live. There are many new ways of doing this, and if this is the course your relationship takes, we will explore these until we find one that feels right for you.
I will support you every step of the way. You will not be alone.
I realize that it is difficult to talk about this topic. Many couples come to me without ever having said anything to anyone about the challenges they are facing. This is because AS shows up most intensely in the realm of the intimate relationship. This feels very private to most couples. It is not casual conversation.
I work with all sorts of couples – individuals in straight, gay, and polyamorous relationships. There are nuanced differences among these couples, but their pain and confusion are similar.
I am glad you found me. My coaching practice is international. That means that no matter where you live, if you can use English as your primary language for communication, we can work together. If your first language is Italian, German, or French, we can use that as well to supplement our conversations in English. We will find a way to work with the time zone differences and any possible language considerations.
We can work online, which means you can fit our sessions into your busy day at the office, or from the comfort of your home. You are therefore able to avoid the time and stress involved in driving to my office. Also, because they are offered online, you are able to access my services with any device from anywhere in the world.
Or you are welcome to come into my office in Seattle for our sessions, if you prefer to meet in person.
I am here when you are ready, and I look forward to hearing from you.